Before the Veil
by JessyG
Summary: Botan's feelings for a certain fire demon leaves her at odds when Kurama confesses his feelings for her. A sort of prequel/companion to my ff Dragons of Shame.


Before the Veil: A Companion/Prequel to Dragons of Shame

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any characters from the series

AN: Hello, everyone. If you have been following my fanfiction Dragons of Shame, then you may be interested in these short drabbles. They aren't really necessary, but they do add some insight to the feelings between Kurama, Botan, Hiei and some other characters of YYH. I've been wanting to write these for a while now. I won't be updating it very much and it won't be a typical fanfic. As I said before, they are mostly drabbles. They're sweet, and kind of fluffy. Or maybe not. I don't know.

* * *

><p>It didn't start like a regular relationship, the two involved were both well aware of it. They had, initially, held no feelings for one another, aside from the mutual feelings of a very dear friendship. Yes, they both saw each other as attractive, but neither of them felt that would lead anywhere; especially Botan.<p>

Yes, she felt Kurama was a very kind and handsome man. He was intelligent, brave, diligent-all the makings of a proper gentleman, and what woman could ever pass that up? But Botan was well aware that the fox demon had a side much colder and calculating than anyone she had ever met. It was that side of him, the Yoko side of Kurama, which scared her even more than Hiei did.

Hiei was another reason Botan never thought Kurama would ever, for lack of a better word, make a move. Hiei, the little fire demon, cast himself in shadow. Hiei, angry at the world, dangerous, cold, powerful, frightening, mysterious and lonely, sent shivers down Botan's spine. They were not, however, solely shivers of terror-they were also tremors of infatuation. The blue-haired deity had found Hiei absolutely breathtaking.

She was unsure as to why she was so attracted to Hiei. Was it because he was so frightening and mysterious? Or was it because she saw through his darkness and into a heart she knew was good? Or perhaps it was, and this she felt was most likely, because he was just as lonely as Botan was?

Botan had been a grim reaper since her very first breath. Born from light and darkness, she was created to serve Enma and his son, Koenma-to ferry souls across the River Styx. Though she managed to smile and truly find joy in her "life," she could not help but feel loneliness pull at her heart. She would never be normal, she could never be like Keiko or Yukina-she would never find true love, never have children, never age…and probably never die.

For a very long time, Botan had been used to the idea of being Botan: the Ferry Girl forever. Until she met Yusuke and the other spirit detectives. When Hiei joined, the deity had found herself yearning for him. She worried for him, wanted to understand him, but she did fear him.

Though she had thought she'd hidden her desires, they were detected, by Kuwabara, no less. However, the surprisingly sharp human had mistaken her feelings, thankfully, to be directed at another demon. During the Dark Tournament, when Kurama and Hiei had disappeared for a short while, Kuwabara asked her why she looked so concerned.

"Well, they've been gone a while." She replied, "Do you think Hiei and Kurama are alright? I worry about them, you know." Kuwabara grinned mischievously.

"You worry about _'them,' _huh?" He chuckled, "Don't you mean you worry about _him_?" Botan's face turned scarlet, she cursed herself for letting her feelings show. She tried to play dumb, but Kuwabara wouldn't hear it. "You shouldn't hide your love for him, you know. He cares about you, too. I've seen it."

Botan was puzzled; Hiei had never shown any affection towards her. Not in the least. "What are you talking about, Kuwabara?"

The red haired teen glanced around him, ensuring the rest of the team was out of ear shot. "Kurama has said a couple things about you that are really sweet," He whispered. "Just things that everyone has sorta overlooked, but not me, I know love when I see it." Botan felt her heart pound in her chest, for multiple reasons. For one, she was glad that Kuwabara hadn't been talking about Hiei. For another, she was surprised to hear Kurama might have feelings for her. The thought of the two of them together stirred emotions for the fox demon that she hadn't known where there.

"Go find him," Kuwabara urged. "Let him know how you feel before it's too late." Botan nodded, but she had no intention of trying to start a relationship with Kurama. He would be the perfect match for her, in theory. But she wasn't sure if she truly had feelings for him that were as strong as the ones she held for Hiei.

Thankful to be alone for the first time in a few weeks, Botan wandered around the grounds, losing herself in her own thoughts. While reflecting on her feelings so intensely, Botan didn't notice that she was walking in the direction of Kurama, who was surprised to see the young blue-haired deity in the middle of the forest.

"Botan?" He called out to her, jerking her from her thoughts with a jump. Botan clutched a hand to her chest, and smiled gratefully. "I did not mean to frighten you," Kurama laughed as he approached her.

"I'm just so glad it's _you_," she laughed, mostly at herself. "I thought I was dead for sure." Kurama shook his head of beautiful red hair, a smile plastered onto his face.

"Why are you out alone, Botan?" He placed a cool hand on her shoulder, she jumped as though a bolt of electricity had shot from his hand and into her shoulder. Though she had flinched, Kurama never removed her hand, he gazed into her eyes. 'Were you looking for me?" His voice held a tone that Botan had never heard from him before. Was it hope?

Botan remained silent, but she didn't avert her eyes from Kurama's. Suddenly, she realized that this might be the last time they would see one another. What if he were to die? Despite her confused feelings, she couldn't bear the thought of Kurama dying. Tears stung her eyes. She let out a small sob and threw herself against Kurama, wrapping her arms around his waist, she cried into his chest. After a hesitant moment, he responded by embracing her.

He closed his eyes and held her tightly, he pressed his lips to the top of her head, inhaling her sweet scent as he did so. "It will be alright," He soothed, understanding her tears quite well. Kurama loved that Botan was so caring, so loving and so very innocent. In recent months, as they'd grown close, he began to realize that he cared for her in a way much less noble than strictly friends. He found himself craving her constantly. He felt a great amount of shame; he was taking her for granted. But he couldn't help it, he loved her.

"Botan," he whispered her name against her hair. He pulled her away from him, to gaze into her eyes again, "If I survive this, I want to be with you." Botan's lavender eyes widened, "Will you be with me?" Tears fell down her pale cheeks, he kissed them away before capturing her soft lips in his own.

She would never be completely sure of what made her respond, she would never understand why she cast aside her inhibitions and had wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him in earnest and let his tongue slip through her parted lips to explore the cavern of his mouth. Botan felt safe in his arms, pressed tightly against him.

Before they returned to the others, Botan and Kurama agreed that their relationship would have to be kept a secret for a while. Koenma would never accept it, and Botan was still unsure if she wanted to be with him. A great amount of guilt spread through her when they met up with everyone and she spotted Hiei standing alone. He'd never shown her any affection, any worry or care, so there was no reason she should feel like she was betraying him. But she couldn't help herself from feeling like a traitor.

Botan approached Hiei timidly, a smile plastered onto her lovely face. "Hiei," she started slowly, "I want to wish you all the luck in the universe." Hiei cast a sidelong stare at her, taking in her fearful stance. The girl amused him, she was so weak and afraid, yet there she stood with a brave and bold face that even he had to admire.

"Hn," He turned his gaze away from her, only to turn it back when she suddenly patted his shoulder.

"I would hug you," She laughed lightly, "But you might not like that!" Hiei snorted and shoved her hand away. "Well, again, luck of the universe!" She walked away from him, not casting him another stare. Hiei smirked inwardly. The silly girl never ceased to amaze him.

Botan refused to stare at him again, though she hadn't realized it just yet, her small, nearly one-sided conversation with the fire demon was the beginning of her releasing her feelings. Tears began to sting her eyes again, but when she caught the gaze of Kurama, his encouraging smile, she found her tears abate. Botan only wanted her friends, her loved ones, to make it out alive. Love could just wait for its turn.

* * *

><p>AN: Just so you guys know, I stopped watching YYH a very, very long time ago. I actually never finished the series. In fact, I never even finished the Dark Tournament. So if things are completely different from what actually happened, I do apologize. This isn't a one-shot, I do intend on adding another chapter sometime after I write the next chapter to Dragons of Shame. I hope you guys have all enjoyed this bit of fluff. The next one will be very nice.<p> 


End file.
